Difficult

I find it so difficult to succeed in life. To do what I’m passionate about and not rely on anyone..


I want to be able to create paintings and books and more.


It’s so fucking difficult for me.

It almost feels impossible.

I just want to be able to create.

To feel like I can depend on myself to create what I want to create, I want it so much, but I feel like I can’t……..

I’m sorry……

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Telepathy

 In this new age, telepathy is becoming more and more rampant. The main downside is that it's not possible to filter thoughts we "receive" (I think) So because of that, every thought holds much much more weight, than if telepathy didn't exist, and thus it's tempting to think thi gs that challenge telepathy. This is extremely important, as for most of our existence, telepathy didn't exist, so now that it DOES exist, we need to Learn How to use it, properly...
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How

 The longer I live, the more I fear making mistakes (things I'm scared won't sit right with me) I'm scared from myself, because I got so much power, but I'm so tender and gentle that it doesn't sit right with me. I try to be the perfect example (by choice), but things don't get better for me, it just feels like this pressure is building up, and will eventually explode. I'm scared from myself, I got so much power and I feel like negative things I do reverberate for very long distances.  I want to both not care for myself, and care for others at the same time, but the older I get, the more I learn that a person can't care for others, without carring for themselves....
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Lucid Dreaming

 When I was a kid, I had allot of nightmares, that I was too scared to fall asleep. This helped me develop the ability to lucid dream, so that I'd have more control, in my dream, and have much less fear.  Yes, I was literally, completely aware, that I was dreaming, in the dream. The ability to wake up, immediately,  when anything scary starts happening in the dream, I have until today. 
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