My feelings

 The longer I live, the more I fear making mistakes (things I'm scared won't sit right with me) I'm scared from myself, because I got so much power, but I'm so tender and gentle that it doesn't sit right with me. I try to be the perfect example (by choice), but things don't get better for me, it just feels like this pressure is building up, and will eventually explode. I'm scared from myself, I got so much power and I feel like negative things I do reverberate for very long distances.  I want to both not care for myself, and care for others at the same time, but the older I get, the more I learn that a person can't care for others, without carring for themselves....

I feel like I'm responsible for so many things, and I'm scared to let people down. My days are very empty, very very very very very very very very very very empty  I just wish I could do whatever I wanted, without backlash (not even a little) I wish I could watch tv and not feel like I'm being watched, I just personally want some privacy.. Other than that, life's ok, I just gotta live one day at a time and hope for the best

 Throughout my life, ive learned that most disagreements come from misunderstandings. The pov of the elite, currently, I think, is this: "Everything is perfect in life. We don't understand why people suffer, and wtf do everyone want from us?"